I need your input please?

i think you've turned her into something otherworldly in your head and effectively set her up for failure if you ever do get together. there is no way any woman could live up to your idea of her. she wasn't the same person when she was younger because she was just developing, both physically and in her identity, learning who she was. your not a pedophile but you might be a borderline stalker if you keep this up.